Just So You Know Whom To Blame

There is a radical faction of pro-lifers running rampant in my neighborhood. Part of their nefarious plot includes door-to-door tactics much like the beloved Jehovah's witnesses. Actually, a somewhat ordinary man knocked on our door Sunday affternoon asking my mother to sign a petition that would ban abortion and gay marriage. My mother politely declined and he immediately took up another line of defense.

"You mean you love abortions?" he accused.

Before my mother could open her mouth, I shouted, "We LOVE them!"

And I would have shouted, "We have them all the time!" had my mother not shoved me out of the way. So next week when I die a fiery death because my house has been torched you will know whom to blame.